And I am everything I need...

[sweetprince]

I'm one of those girls who really doesn't need a boyfriend and get's sort of exasperated when other girls wax poetical about how they wish they had a boyfriend. I'm in a platonic marriage with whimsicalwonder and really, that's enough for me. ^{Funny, considering that I spend my time writing and reading the novella equivalents of gay romance.}

Most of the time.

But sometimes it gets to me just a little when my room mate is like, "If you ever want somebody, you're going to have to change," because guys can't deal with girls like me. I'm not protesting the latter part of that statement. I am what I am, and honestly I don't want nor am I willing to change. I'm protesting the fact that she seems to think I need a boy to be happy. Then, of course, I sit there going 'well, what the fuck is wrong with me, maybe I do need a boy to be happy.' That's like the largest step backwards too. I have worked so hard not to be that person.

But now...

Lauren

Comments

[mytigerhobbes.livejournal.com]

who needs a boy when you have an amazing twin?
that goes for both of us.

[dark-reaction.livejournal.com]

YAY! Together we shall rule the world. Or at least the gay love scene.

[izzardwizzard.livejournal.com]

Right there with ya, babe. I've heard it all "You're too standoffish," "you don't dress to attract men" (meaning I don't parade around half-naked like most of the bints around here), to my favorite "You don't flirt enough."

I say screw 'em. Love is not an entitlement, an accessory, an item on a list to be marked off. And it shouldn't be an expectation either. Love, or hell, even a good companion is just one of those things we might get lucky in, and you can't strategize or plan for luck.

There's nothing wrong with you or me, darling. In fact, I vastly prefer myself as I am to the girls I see around me locked into joyless, perfunctory, tedious relationships. *shudders*

And remember, cynics are the last true romantics around (otherwise we else would we be cynical?).

*hugs*

[dark-reaction.livejournal.com]

I'm too loud and opinionated for guys apparently. My friend Erik Petigura once told me that my life would've been a lot easier if I'd been born with a dick, because people are more accepting of assertiveness in guys. I could've killed him.

Half naked girls! Party! We can get together and laugh at them.

*hugs you back*

[izzardwizzard.livejournal.com]

*facepalm* Would you believe that in yahoo-mail the words "half naked girls" were hyperlinked for a search.

I rest my case.

[dark-reaction.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh the fate of man kind.

[ericaplease.livejournal.com]

I, too, am loud and opinionated. I've also heard that I'm really fucking depressing (from various sources), although I don't tend to agree with that, because I know many people who are totally more depressing than I am.

That said, I think you should hold on to your platonic marriage with the fabulous whimsicalwonder, whom I've not called yet (oops). You don't need a boy to be happy, honey. *hugs*

Besides, the only boys worth mentioning right now are the very obviously gay ones (read: Jared and Jensen. Who else?), anyway.

[dark-reaction.livejournal.com]

You're not depressing at all. I think you're hilarious--but maybe that's only because I'm depressing. I do not know. I was half in love with you after only 45 min. of your company. Yayay.

human torch/Mr. fantastic also.

[maypirate.livejournal.com]

I would sort of agree with torturemysoul, except say something like "the married ones" like Mistah Bale. But then again I have a fixation.

As someone who's been in a relationship for a very long time, I can only offer the knowledge that I've learned over that time: that my life could and would go on without my boyfriend, and I would survive. He is something special whose presence is a gift, but our being together isn't the defining feature of my life. I have an extraordinary network of friends, many of them female and who I can honestly say I'm already in deep platonic love with.

...this isn't coming out right cuz I think I have a fever, but the point is, if you need someone at all, you need the friends you already have. And if you want to change at all, don't do it in the interest of finding a guy, but in finding yourself. Because that's who matters the most.

Uh...I hope this made sense somewhere.

[dark-reaction.livejournal.com]

It made sense, but I sort of get the feeling that nobody is quite understanding my existential dilemma. I don't honestly think I need a boy to be happy, I just wish that people would stop saying it. I've had two boyfriends, they weren't worth it. I'm happy with myself. But it's still difficult when everybody around you is like, who do you like and ohmygod you should totally ask so and so out and what not.

I don't know. I'm actually drunk at the mo', so I'm probably making less sense (although I'm glad that I haven't forgotten how to type).

Anyway, thanks so much for the kind words. They really meant a lot.

[windmiran.livejournal.com]

So, hi. You have no idea who I am, but I've been immensely enjoying your AU SPN fic, and then I saw your post.
People say approximately the same thing to me all the time. That I'm 'undateable', that I should 'have lower standards' or 'stop being so intellectual'. I've tried shutting them up by going on dates with friends of friends, and you know what? It doesn't shut them up. The same people will tell you you're not trying hard enough when you don't 'click' with the hideously incompatible boys they've picked for you to date.
I get your dilemna (I think) - you, yourself, are happy without a man validating your place on this earth, but you can't be totally happy about that if people never shut up about it, because it harshes your calm sense of contentment and self achievement.
I got nothing, except to add that there are more of us out there than you think. And everyone who considers themselves complete in and of themselves is likely annoyed on your behalf, because they've gone through the same thing.

[dark-reaction.livejournal.com]

Well I'm glad to hear you liked my story.

Thank you so much for that, it's good not to be told, "of course you don't need a boyfriend," when I say things like that, because it's not what I mean. I have achieved Zen with the coming of your understanding, whoo!

[perpetualloser.livejournal.com]

'"If you ever want somebody, you're going to have to change," because guys can't deal with girls like [you].'
My mother says that to me all the effin' time! I think she wants me to find someone more than I do sometimes....

[dark-reaction.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't understand it.

[monotonygirl.livejournal.com]

Delurking to contribute my unsolicited $.02.

I know what you mean about wanting to put forks in these people's eyeballs. I am not one of those girls whose self-esteem hangs on whether or not they are receiving male attention, and I don't equate being in a relationship with proving that I am loveable ("Nobody loves me, so I must not be loveable"- I actually heard that come out of someone's mouth the other day, and I think that laughing at them was not the reaction they were expecting). If being in a relationship that makes you unhappy just to prove you are worthwhile as a human is the affirmation you need, I'll stay single, thanks.

I understand that relationships require compromise to work, but that is not the equivalent of fundamentally changing who you are in order to sustain one. I, too, have been told many times over that I must change to attract a man, and I am greeted with open-mouthed stares when I retort that I would rather be alone than change who I am (and that perhaps men should be less fixated and more accepting of women's strengths, even going so far as to think that beauty comes in many forms- gasp). I am currently single by choice, and while I have been in many wonderful realtionships, I don't need the stress and drama in my life that new relationships bring, and I'm still very happy with my life. It's my choice. But what is more extraordinary is that many people do not seem to believe that I can be happy without a man in my life. Or adequately explain the fact that while we are supposed to make changes to accomodate men, they are not expected change for us (and we are then labelled the ball-and-chain. Grow up). In relationships, we need to accept our significant others for who they are as people, and that goes both ways.

You're not alone, baby. I get it, I do, and I agree with your stance completely (I was also told to lose weight to get a man, but that's another issue altogether, sigh). I come here for your fic, but I thought as my first comment, I'd weigh in on a personal issue *snerk* Many apologies. I'll butt out now.

[dark-reaction.livejournal.com]

I always find it endlessly amusing and a little touching that people would think I would be insulted that they choose to weigh in on my personal life. Seriously, if you like my fic enough to care about my life, that seems like a compliment to me.

So truly, I don't mind at all that you have words of comfort. I'm glad.