It's like stepping out on thin ice...*CRACK*

[sweetprince]

Title: It Isn't Working 'til It Is
Disclaimer: Never happened, of that I can be downright sure.
Summary: Jared has a shot at starting quarterback on the football team when it all comes crashing down on him. Suddenly the entire world thinks he's gay, and his parents solution is to send him off to a gay conversion camp. Mad hijinks and one Jensen Ackles ensues.
Pairing: J²
Chapters: 2/2
Rating: NC-17
Notes: This is based around "But I'm A Cheerleader" and was inspired by smidgy06. Thank you for betaing and waiting so long. Also thank you to torturemysoul for audiencing and handholding and not hitting me over the head when I got too annoying.

Part 1



Jensen flipped a switch in him. He couldn’t stop thinking about that. It was in everything and everyone, Wentworth's cool stare, Chris's smirk, Mark's shoulder shimmy, Tom's straining against whatever brawny task he'd been assigned, Mike's crossed arms, but especially especially Jensen. At lunch he watched the other boy dig into a ripe peach with a single-minded pleasure that Jared only knew when he was directing plays on the field.

His eyes were half-lidded and the juice dripped down his hand and over his wrist. Jared was rivetted, eyes wide as Jensen’s tongue darted out between his lips, swiping across his pulse-point, thoroughly lapping all the juice up. He squirmed in his seat and was sure he’d never been that hard in his entire life. Had he ever been hard in his entire life? This seemed to redefine it.

He started having really disturbing dreams about it too, Jensen sucking on him the way he’d been sucking on that peach, and it was driving him crazy, causing him to wake up fearful and aroused and ashamed. It was following him everywhere he thought to go.

Wentworth had noticed his behavior and after dinner he'd asked, "Are you on drugs? You seem a little twitchy."

"What like Mary's hairspray?"

Wentworth ceded the point.

Finally he gave up on sleep after he’d tossed and turned for hours. He forced himself from the bed and decided to go to the kitchen for a drink of water.

He didn’t know the house well at all in the darkness and he kept bumping into things and remembering not to apologize or curse for knocking stuff over was taking up all his energy. He might not even have noticed it, his eyes clouded with exhaustion, if he hadn’t heard it.

He shouted in surprise. There were Sandy and Kristen, naked as the day they were born, writhing against each other. It was disgusting. He hated boobs, he really, really did.

“Oh please, god, make it go away!” He screeched, hands over his eyes. Sandy and Kristen sprung apart, guiltily.

“Shh!” Sandy cried, diving at him, looking over his shoulder for Mary.

He followed her glance and then realized what he’d done. “Oh my god!”

The two girls hastily tried to cover themselves up.

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t think, I was just so surprised—” Jared apologized weakly, gaze directed firmly on the table they’d been hiding under.

Kristen glared at him, arms crossed tight over her bosom. “Just shut up, already!”

“But I didn’t mean—” Sandy clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Shut the FUCK up!” she whispered furiously, nails biting into skin of his cheek. He nodded and kept his mouth shut.

But it was too late. Mike and Mary came running, and Jared tried desperately to say that he had been kissing one of them, or the other, but he kept mixing their names up, and their state of undress compared to his own belied his story.

"I've made a breakthrough, Mary, I swear it, Sandy--er--Kristen gives really good head."

Mary scowled at him and then turned her attention to the two girls. He watched, desperately sorry, as Mary kicked Sandy out and then sent Kristen to the doghouse—an actual physical doghouse with a little pink picket fence around it. Jared felt like the worst thing on the planet.


*

Only Wentworth would talk to him the next day. It was horrible. Jensen glared at him like he was all the worst things that Jensen had expected, idiot jock extraordinaire. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much. Jensen was a dick and he was never nice to Jared anyway.

Allie stabbed her potatoes with particular relish. “If only that little bitch had kept his fucking mouth shut!”

As if Jared couldn’t hear them just because he was a table away.

“I know you didn’t mean it,” Wentworth said and then flipped the page on Nietzsche. Jared had no idea how he went through books so fast. He never sat with the others because it made it hard to concentrate.

Christian made a face at him across the divide. “If Princess over there had narked on me, I would have ended him!” He plunged his knife through his apple like it was Jared’s heart. Jared looked down at his food nervously, Wentworth patted his knee reassuringly.

He was about to sigh and go dispose of his tray when he heard Jensen speak up. “With your spike bracelet or is that thing only for self-mutilation?”

Christian colored. Allie burst out laughing and Meagan looked ready to puke. Jared’s eyes connected with Jensen’s and the other boy smiled, all his disdainful looks completely gone. Why was Jared defending him?

When they started the next unit, Demystifying the Opposite sex, which was clearly a glorified sex ed, Jensen sat down next to him. The sex ed tape told them how to stimulate a woman’s breasts and he felt, for one brief moment, Jensen’s knuckles brush against the back of his neck. When he looked over Jensen’s attention appeared to be rapt upon the screen. Jared bit his lip and smiled.

They walked around each other tentatively, the air between them new and light.

When they dressed in suits and practiced how to walk and sit, Jared nudged Jensen’s leg. “If you have to cross them, your foot should be resting on your knee, and you should never, never cross your ankles.” Jensen glared at him, but the light shove he gave Jared with his shoulder told him he wasn’t really mad.

Things like that continued for the next two days, and maybe Jared wasn’t a pro at this, but it was really starting to look like he and Jensen were flirting. Especially when Jensen flattened his shirt collar or showed him how to do a double-windsor.

When they were washing the car down later, Jared couldn’t help but strike up a conversation. “Do you miss your friends from home?”

“Yeah, I can’t decide who I miss most, the other airheads on the cheerleading squad or the apes on the foo—” He paused and looked up at Jared, blushing just a little. It made the freckles on his nose stand out. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jared smiled back at him. “Some of them are really dumb, mostly the defensive line. But yeah, we don’t exactly take the cake for academics.”

Jensen concentrated on scrubbing the cherry red hood for a long moment before changing the subject. “I’m not really sure who my friends are.”

Jared stopped scrubbing and looked at him, but Jensen didn’t divulge anymore information than that.

“What about you?” the older teen said brusquely, lifting one of the windshield wipers to get at the glass underneath.

Jared shrugged. “I thought I did.”

Jensen looked at him surprised. “Do they know you’re here?”

Jared laughed bitterly. “Oh yeah,” and he left it at that.

“That’s gotta be tough.” He leaned over to scrub a bit further in the center, disregarding of the front of his outfit. Mike would approve. Their hands met and Jared swallowed at the zing that rushed up his arm at the contact.

*

When he walked into the bathroom that night to brush his teeth, Chris, Mark, and Jensen were all squeezed in front of the mirror.

“What’s going on? It’s nearly lights out!” Jared protested.

Jensen smiled and shushed him. He was dressed in a black button down, jeans, and boots. Jared had never seen him in street clothes before. It was a good look for him.

“We’re sneaking out,” he said confidentially, eyes sparkling. “Get dressed!”

“What? There’s only a month left of this hell, no way I’m getting thrown out now.”

Jensen grinned naughtily and Jared found himself wanting to agree, but then he remembered his parents’ faces. “Who said we’ll get caught?”

“Jensen, I can’t,” he sighed and looked away. When he turned back the other boy’s face was hard. Jensen was so moody sometimes it made Jared’s head spin.

“Fine, if you aren’t going to come at least have the decency to keep quiet about it!” he shrugged past Jared.

Jared walked back into the room and sat down on his bed with a sigh. Wentworth looked up from the thick tome in his lap. Edmund Spencer this time. “You should go with them.”

Jared looked at his feet. “Why aren’t you going?”

Wentworth made a motion with his hand. “Not my thing, but you’ll probably enjoy it, go.”

“But I—”

Wentworth made a stern face. “Go!”

Jared blew out a breath and then rushed to tug his clothes on. What the heck was he doing? He’d always been a good kid. His parents always knew where he was, he left the door open when Alexis was over, and he’d never drank or smoked before. This was completely new territory for him.

“Not that shirt!” Wentworth hissed as went to shrug on a blue button down. “Try that white t-shirt you have.”

Jared nodded and did as he was told. When he turned back Wentworth was grinning. “He won’t be able to resist you.”

Jared looked at him blankly. “Who won’t?”

“Don’t play stupid,” the other boy said dryly. He gestured at the door. “Better hurry.”

"But--but who won't?" he called over his shoulder one last time. Wentworth never answered.

He made it into the van just in time. Christian groaned, but Mark and Allie cheered. Jensen didn’t say anything but his face was answer enough. There was pink paper littering the floor and suddenly he knew what the paper plane from the other day was.

“Where’s Meagan?” he asked as he sat on down on the flatbed.

Allie waved him away. “Meagan thinks knitting is a good Friday night activity.”

“Hi guys!” a perky voice said from the front seat, it was a thirty-something guy in a rainbow baseball cap.

“Hi!” they said back.

“Such a crowd today, I’m proud.” He smiled at them all. “I’m Eric Kripke-Singer and this is Bob Kripke-Singer.” Bob grunted at them. Jared shot Jensen a look.

“It’s so cool that you do this,” Mark gushed.

Eric laughed and handed them little pride pins. “Well, we used to be part of Mary’s ranks until we defected.” He clapped his hands. “We just wanted to show you that there are other options to—”

“Lying about yourself!” Bob interrupted gruffly, eyes on the road.

“Ahem,” Eric cleared his throat, “Covering up a part of you.”

“Pretending to be something you’re not!” Bob growled. They all held back their smiles as Eric and Bob started arguing in the front.

“They are so married,” Mark said in a stage whisper. “It’s cute.” It was only then that Jared realized Mark was dressed in short shorts, a tube top, elbow-length gloves, and boa.

"Wow," he said. Mark preened.

Jensen laughed at the look on his face. “Get used to it, sweetheart,” he whispered in his ear. Jared shivered.

When they reached the club, Jared was already wound up pretty tight. He tried to protest but Jensen bought him a beer and then he nearly died laughing at Jared’s expression when the bartender bought him another one.

“What is it?” Jared asked, flushed and embarrassed.

“You’re like the straight boy that everybody falls in love with, except you’re gay, dream come true, man.” Jensen knocked his arm and then turned back to survey the club.

Jared ducked his head and scratched the back of his neck. When he looked up Jensen was still grinning.

“Exactly.”

Jared had no idea what that meant. Before he could drum up the courage to ask, Jensen got asked to dance on the next song by some older guy with dark hair and dark eyes. Jensen smiled and acquiesced. The bartender tried to chat with Jared, but he was awkward and stuttery. He was too busy watching Jensen. Jensen really knew how to dance, Jared swallowed down a big gulp of beer and then tried not to choke on it.

“God, don’t think about it,” he told himself, “You’re trying to get better.”

“What?” the bartender asked, looking at him like he was loony. Jared made a face at him and then turned back around to face Jensen. The song changed and somebody else asked him for a dance. Jared blew out his breath, bored, and looked anywhere but at his friends. God he was so uncomfortable. The bartender gave up on him and went to serve two guys with silver eye-makeup candy pink cosmos.

Jared huffed again. He knew this wasn’t his scene. He looked over at Jensen to see what jerk he was dancing with now and startled. Something was clearly wrong. Jensen was saying something and shaking his head, one hand up on the guy’s chest to stop him, but the guy wasn’t taking no for an answer.

Jared set his drink down with a thud, and ran off without paying. The bartender would hopefully understand. He had absolutely no plan of action, and he hoped the other guy wouldn’t take a swing at him, because he hated fighting. He passed two lithe young boys snuggling in a corner and got an idea.

It was only a few more steps to Jensen, and he didn’t even think about whether or not he had the courage or the know how to pull it off. He sealed himself to Jensen’s back, bringing an arm around Jensen’s chest to pull him closer.

“Everything all right, baby?” He said in rough voice against Jensen’s neck to hide his nervous blush. His eyes connected with the sleaze who wouldn’t leave Jen alone and he hoped the expression was enough to get the other guy to back down, but he was sure the guy could see right through it.

Sleaze narrowed his eyes and Jared tightened his hold on Jensen, with a little luck his height would do the talking for him. Inside he was chanting ‘please don’t start something, please don’t start something’ over and over.

Jensen shoulders rose against his chest, but then he let out a breath of air and leaned back against him.

“Everything’s fine, Jared, this guy was just saying goodbye,” Jensen’s voice dripped with acid. Jared was afraid he was going to have to hold Jensen back. He clamped his other arm around Jen’s waist just in case and before he could stop himself he was nuzzling Jensen’s neck.

“Good to hear it.” His lips moved on the other teen’s smooth pale skin and he hoped his voice squeaked only minimally.

Jensen patted Jared’s arm in reassurance, and Jared had to wonder who was really being saved here. The guy walked off. Jensen turned around in his arms, eyes blazing, and Jared was ready for the ‘wtf, man?’ but it never came. He dragged Jared outside, past all the other dancing couples--Allie was flirting with some tiny redhead who looked like she couldn’t be more than twelve. Jensen shoved him outside into the back alley.

“Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t have done that,” Jared started, looking over Jensen’s shoulder. “I know you can take care of—”

Jensen cut him off with a kiss, a hard press of his mouth against Jared’s. Jared didn’t know why he was letting him. He hated making out. It was the most vile thing ever and he didn’t know how he’d endured it at Alexis’s hands for so long. But then Jensen tipped his head, and sucked Jared’s lower lip into his mouth.

Christ.

Jared felt like a string had been attached to his groin, jolting pleasure down from his mouth. Jensen’s tongue flirted against the seam of his lips, and he parted them just slightly, allowing Jensen’s tongue to slide against his. He’d never entertained the thought that Alexis had been doing it all wrong. But the way he was lolling in Jensen’s arms, legs weak and body loose, the way everybody said it should be, made him evaluate a few things a second time.

Jensen slowly pulled back, eyes squeezed shut. Jared was fingering his mouth like it was something new and undiscovered. The other teen caught him and looked at him with an amused expression.

“I thought you had a girlfriend?” he said slowly.

Jared looked at him blankly for a moment, he sank down to a crate against the wall. “Yeah, I thought kissing was gross.”

Jensen laughed uproariously, eyes sparkling and a genuine smile shining out like a beacon. He should do it more often, Jared thought, laugh like he meant it. Jensen dropped down next to him.

Jared sighed and looked down at his hands. “I’m sorry if I was bad at it or anything, it’s not something I really—”

Jensen smirked and leaned forward again, brushing his lips lightly across Jared’s own, until he could feel them to tingle and burn. Jared leaned into him, reaching across Jensen’s body to put a hand on his knee. He needed to steady himself a little. Jensen’s full lips pulled into a smile against his and Jared, on a whim, darted out his tongue to trace them. Hopefully he’d stumble onto something right. Jensen’s hand came up to tangle in his hair and they kissed like they had all the time in the world, mouths sliding together and apart. Jared wasn’t sure he could handle anything more intense than that.

“Heh, I think you got the hang of it,” Jensen said when they came up for air.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Dude, shut up.” And then they were kissing again like they weren’t in a public back alley but in a space all to themselves. Jensen’s hand traveled in reassuring circles over his shoulder and before he could stop himself, he was moaning into Jensen’s mouth, fingers digging into the other boy’s knee.

They were startled out of themselves when a door slammed open. They jumped apart guiltily, Jared tumbling off his crate and onto the slick alley-way pavement, and looked up sheepishly to see Christian glaring at them in the doorway.

“It’s time to go,” he said shortly, hands on his hips and eyes like daggers.

“Sure,” Jensen said amicably, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. He looked over at Jared and couldn’t help chuckling. Jared rolled his eyes and gingerly stood up, and then tripped over the crate. Chris made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat, but Jensen reached out a steadier arm. He only let go when they crawled into the van and Jared knew his face was pink with pleasure and silliness. Jared realized he adored holding hands.

The car went dark when the doors shut and the other kids were quiet with exhaustion, Mark had snuck his cell-phone out and was texting somebody with a slightly manic grin, Allie fell asleep with her head in his lap. Chris glared at Jensen and Jared the entire ride home like they were going at it right there in the car, but there was like a sea of space between them. No need to get upset. And if Jensen’s knuckles kept brushing the outside of Jared’s thigh, it was totally accidental.

*

They sat through their next Group therapy session with Mike, trying to go over Mark’s root because Mary had given up. Mike, and the rest of them, had gotten tired of Mark babbling out his entire life story trying to figure out what the one event was that had turned him gay. He let Allie speak for a short time about her issues, Chris was already asleep in his chair.

“I’m a heterosexual!” Mark shouted suddenly.

“Um, not yet sweetie,” Mike said with an amused look in Mark’s direction. “And don’t talk out of turn.”

“No, I’m a heterosexual,” Mark said again, so sure of his newfound answer.

Mike furrowed his brows and made a face. “Would you take a look at yourself?”

“No I totally am, we can’t find out what made me gay, because I’m not gay,” Mark said with a decisive nod. Jensen started choking on held back laughter and Wentworth looked at Mark like there was nobody on the planet dumber than he was.

“You’re not fooling anyone,” Mike said caustically, eyebrows sharp downward slants over his startling blue eyes.

“Well, but I—”

Mike gave a beleaguered sigh. “Ugh, please don’t profane the room with your voice unless you have something remotely intelligent to say.”

Mark subsided with a sigh. “Well I just thought—”

“No, I don’t want to know,” Mike replied.

He was just turning back to Allie when the shit hit the fan. The door slammed open like a mighty wind was roaring through. Mary came striding into the room, pink power suit disheveled and blonde helmet quivering. Jared was pretty sure everybody in the room was cowering away from her.

“I found this, this morning!” she shouted, holding out a matchbook from the club.

They all stiffened and turned pale. She smiled, eyes narrowed, and teeth gleaming.

“Ahah,” she said. “I will not have this seditious and morally reprehensible material around my house.”

She looked around at all of them. Mike had his arms crossed, his expression grim.

“Jensen,” she shouted, nudging him with a pink stiletto.

“Yes?” he asked, his usual attitude and bravado gone in the face of Mary’s wrath.

“We all know what a slut you were before you came here,” Mary smiled with shark teeth. “Or at least I know, and I think you know who’s been sneaking out.”

Jensen’s face was tight with anger. “No, I don’t.”

Jared could feel himself getting angry. What gave Mary any right?

“What about you, Mark?” she replied, turning on the quivering queen.

“But I do know something,” Jensen shouted, interrupting her questioning before Mark could give them all away. Mary turned back to him with an expectant look. “Last night, I realized something for the very first time—”

“Yes?” Mary asked, one pink-nailed hand resting on her hip.

He smiled artificially, “I have a crush, my first one, on a…girl.”

Everybody in the room tried not to snort with laughter but Mary looked overjoyed. “On who, Jensen?”

“Um, Meagan,” he said, seizing the first name that came to his head. Meagan looked terrified and Allie next to her made a retching noise.

Mary drew him to his feet and hugged him. “I’m so proud!” Jensen smiled at Jared over her shoulder. Jared bit his lip and looked away. It was so hard not to laugh. He couldn’t believe that Mary was taking it all in.

And then, like a manic depressive, she turned back to the rest of them, her expression gone back to being wrath of god. “I’m very disappointed in the rest of you sneaks, I have scheduled meetings with your parents.”

*

They waited in tortured agony outside of Mary’s office as each set of parents interrogated their child. He tried not to squirm. It was like family therapy all over again. Jensen was off the hook and his parents were in Moscow, so Mary had given him free time, but he sat beside Jared anyway, his strong thigh brushing up against Jared’s. Jared kept his head down so that the rest of the group wouldn’t see him smile and blush. He had to stop doing that. His face gave him a way all the time. Jensen kept telling him it was cute and he wanted to just keel over and die.

When it was his turn, he shuffled into the room slowly. His parents looked at him with consternation. His mother was trembling and weepy and kept trying to form sentences half broken.

“Now your mother and I know,” his father said finally. “That you would never go to such a place.”

Jared nodded, trying not to look at Mary who sat between them, an inscrutable expression on her face.

“But if you had gone to such a place, you should know, you wouldn’t be welcome at home anymore,” his father finished.

Jared’s eyes jolted upward to meet his. “What?”

“We can’t allow you to be unhealthy, this is the best way we know of hammering that home.” His father sighed woefully but his expression was firm. Mary smirked.

Jared, who’d loved his parents and cherished them, felt himself filled with a sudden monstrous rage.

His mother spoke up then, “If that’s what you chose, then you’d be choosing to cut us out.”

Jared couldn’t believe they were going to try and say he was disowning them if he did such a thing.

“So did you have anything to tell us, sweetie?” his mother asked, her expression once again happy and serene. “Alexis asked after you.”

“If it would be so easy for you to just let me go for something like that, maybe you should reconsider your role as parents!” He got to his feet and stormed out. His parents looked stricken and Mary stayed behind to comfort them.

“He’s just going through a phase,” Mary claimed, as he slammed his way out of the door. “Part of the price of progress, you’ll see him at graduation, I promise.”

*

Kristen got out that evening so that Mary could march them over to Eric Kripke-Singer and Bob Krikpe-Singer’s house to protest against them the next morning. Mary had allowed them to decorate their own signs and Mark had gotten a little carried away with the glitter outlining “All fags go to Hell.”

Mike and Mary were both shouting on bullhorns and the rest of them waved their signs and shouted along with them, except for Jared who only waved his sign half-heartedly. This was so wrong and he told Jensen so.

“They have to understand,” the other boy whispered at him furiously. “They had to go through this once too.”

“That doesn’t make it okay,” Jared said softly.

The muscles around Jensen’s mouth tightened and he looked away, going back to his sign waving and shouting. Eric and Bob came running out of the house, rainbow fatigues on and super soakers in hand. Everybody except Mary and Jared went running, Mark even screamed. Jared was seized by a sudden irrational desire to run into the warm embrace of the large house Eric and Bob had built, pride flags festooning every window. But he new better and after standing dejectedly for a moment he too got back in the van.

They had cake when they got back, pink and blue icing. Jared loved frosting, but he knew Jensen hated it, and he waited for the other boy to sit down beside him and give him his. But it didn’t happen. Jensen walked over to Meagan and offered her a piece of cake.

Jared watched in horror as Jensen was just all over Meagan, feeding her food, wiping frosting out of the corner of her mouth, laughing and tickling her. They hadn’t done anything since that evening at the club, and maybe that had all been a fluke. He didn’t think Jensen liked Meagan or anything, and it’s not like he was jealous of her, but it sure did seem easy for the other boy to just forget Jared. Or maybe that wasn’t it, but god, why was Jensen always so in control.

He knew the other boy was really experienced. Even if Mary hadn’t said so, he’d heard Mark and Chris gossiping about it. And Jared honestly had no idea why Jensen was interested in him. He was just a lanky football player, and Jensen hated those.

He thought about flirting with Kristen in retaliation but that wouldn’t work since Kristen probably still wanted to kill him and Allie would probably castrate him if he so much as looked at her funny. He spied Tom over in the corner with Mike, in the ubiquitous baby blue, muscles straining at his shirt. And so maybe it was really stupid what he was about to do, but it was the only card he had left in the deck.

He shot Jensen and Meagan a last dark look before striding over and inserting himself between the two guys, cake completely abandoned.

“You have really big muscles,” he said, dropping his voice an octave. God he hoped this was actually sexy and didn’t make him look like a serial killer. Tom smiled winningly at him and Mike looked at him suspiciously but didn’t say anything.

“Can I touch ‘em?” Jared asked, leaning in close. Tom worried his lip with his teeth and then shot Mike a look that was pure evil torture—looked like he wasn’t the only one trying to make someone jealous. He drew Tom over to a bench and started massaging his shoulders when he sat down. Tom’s skin was warm and velvety beneath his hands, and he was gorgeous but Jared couldn’t summon up any interest. Mike was biting down viciously on his plastic fork, despite the fact that he’d eaten all of his cake already. Tom moaned beneath his fingers like a porn star. And that was kind of starting to freak him out.

When they broke for bed that night Jensen cornered him in the hallway.

“What the hell, Jared?” he asked, his face confused and angry and frustrated.

Jared couldn’t help laughing, joy welling up in him. Jensen did care. “You’ve never been jealous over somebody before, have you?”

Jensen colored and looked away. Yeah, Jared thought so. People like Jensen never had to worry about anything in that field. He caught Jensen by the neck, grazing his nails down his nape.

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” he whispered, leaning to touch his forehead to the other boy’s. Jensen sighed and he fisted his hands in Jared’s shirt, leaning up to touch their mouths together, but then Mike walked down the hall calling lights out and they sprang apart. Mike glared at Jared hard enough to kill him.

*

The next day was the final test in. They were graded in everything they had learned. Mary trotted them out at four in the morning, fed them the heaviest breakfast on the planet, and then sent them to it while everybody looked on, fiercely judging.

For the girls it was cleaning, diaper changing, nail painting, and bridal gown shopping—which Jared thought was a little unfair to women. Allie certainly looked like she thought so, which might have been why she disliked Meagan so much. That girl ate it all up like it was nothing. Mark cringed as he watched Allie getting red O.P.I all over Kristen’s hand. Jared thought for one second that Wentworth might’ve been taking notes during the whole thing, but then he looked again and the boy was just watching, hands in his lap.

The guys had to fix another broken down car together, Jared didn’t let Jensen touch anything, but Wentworth was okay, and Mark was nearly as bad as Jensen. He spied him filing his nails on the beveled side of a torque wrench. Jensen just stayed under the hood and looked at it like if he stared hard enough it would magically resolve itself into working order. It was kind of adorable.

Jared sighed and tweaked with the rear axle.

Then they had to practice catching the football that Mike threw while another guy ran defense. Jared did fine on that of course, but Jensen might have tackled him a little aggressively and they started rolling around laughing in a pile of leaves. Jensen finally rolled away and got up when he realized Mike was watching them with a calculating expression. They continued to chuckle and throw leaves at each other while he wasn’t looking. Jared kept finding them inside his clothes.

Mark forgot to watch out in front of him when it was his turn and he ran into a tree with a shriek. They had to take a break to drag him to the infirmary and then they got back to it. Christian did perfect, Wentworth caught it with an expression of surprise, and Jensen barely managed to hang onto it. But all in all he thought they’d all done okay. If they didn’t, it meant being sent home.

They all got back together again in the afternoon to write a bullshit essay on what it meant to be a heterosexual. Christian furiously scratched at the page, so loud that he distracted everyone else when they were attempting to write. Meagan kept making eyes at Jensen now that she’d gotten over her initial fear of him. It was pretty bad that Jared was considering smacking a girl, he’d never done that in his life. He wondered if it counted if she was a lesbian.

“I’m so proud of you all,” Mary said when it was over, clipboard in hand, and new pink stripey suit in place. She had them assembled at the fake campfire again, while she paced back and forth. “I’ve never seen such a determined group before.”

They all demurred politely and ducked their heads.

“I’m passing all but one of you.” She stepped towards Mark and Jensen. Mark looked over at Jensen with a sympathetic expression, all ready to comfort him. “Mark, you have to go home.”

She walked off with talk about more cake in the kitchen. Mark sat there and cried lugubrious tears. Jensen reached out a tentative hand to pat at him, but Mark was far too gone. Any minute now, Jared expected him to stand up and start screaming ‘NO MORE WIRE HANGERS.’ He backed away slowly.

Mark started screaming about how they were all lying to themselves before he ran off. Christian cleared his throat.

“Well…” the goth said lamely. They all looked anywhere but at each other. Worst of all, Mark was completely right. They got up and went on with their day like nothing had happened, but Jared couldn’t quite forget what Mark had said.

*

Jared didn’t know what possessed him that night but he coerced Jensen into sneaking out with him. They hadn’t dared touch or talk or do anything that would give them away.

But they’d seen how easy it was to get out from under Mary’s clutches so, at midnight, well after everybody had fallen asleep because of Mary’s 9:00 PM curfew, they hightailed it to the doghouse.

Jared kept hitting his head on things while Jensen grinned manically. He almost considered giving up and marching back to bed, but then Jensen grabbed him and pushed him down on the ridiculous fluffy satin interior and straddled his thighs. He kissed him hard, sucking Jared’s tongue into his mouth. The sound Jared made was totally in surprise or so he told himself as he skated his hands down Jensen’s back to palm his ass.

Jensen made a low noise in the back of his throat and repositioned himself against Jared’s dick. The taller teen arched against the pressure and bit down on Jensen’s lip before he could stop himself.

He tore himself away in shock and surprise. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.” Jensen’s pouty mouth was swollen red and glistening.

“It was good, it was fine,” Jensen said, he shoved Jared’s shirt up around his armpits. Jared squirmed a little trying to cover himself up, but he stopped when Jensen moaned at the moonlight-edged muscles that were revealed. “Oh god, do it again.”

He connected their mouths again, swiping his tongue against Jared’s in time with the slow rock he’d started against his dick. He tweaked one of Jared’s nipples and bent to do the same with his tongue when he saw the reaction it got.

Jared was struck dumb by the fire that seemed to burn under Jensen’s skin, lighting up his eyes and warming him to the touch. Jensen hissed and rocked back harder against Jared when his fingers whispered tentatively over the other boy’s skin. First the curve of the hip, then the dip of a spine, the wings of his shoulder blades and back down over his ribs and up to his nipples. Jensen twisted and moaned against him as Jared learned his body, etched it into his brain by touch like a blind man.

He tugged on Jensen’s full lower lip with his teeth, amazed at the way Jensen’s hips jerked against his with every pull.

“Jared, I—” Jensen started and then broke off when Jared experimentally licked a stripe down Jensen’s neck. He had no idea what he was doing. He and Alexis, they’d done…that but it had been clinical, like roles they were fulfilling. This was touch and go. Jensen didn’t seem to mind it though. Jared wanted to touch him everywhere, see how dark his eyes could get, and how pink his cheeks would turn.

He rolled them over and Jen smirked up at him. He was so hard he was kind of amazed that it hadn’t just broken off. He was somewhat gratified to feel Jensen’s own dick digging into his stomach. The other boy hooked a leg over his hip, directing their crotches together, Jared groaned and had to brace himself on his elbows to keep from collapsing.

“Oh, that’s good,” Jensen cried, neck listing back at an almost impossible angle. Jared mouthed along it again, sucking on Jensen’s pulse point and watching with something akin to amazement as the older boy keened. Jensen had a hand wedged between their bodies, twisting and flicking Jared’s nipple. He twisted and pulled on Jared’s hair with the other, directing his mouth on his neck.

Jared loved the taste of Jensen’s skin, slightly salty, slightly sweet, but mostly clean and fresh like water. Jensen was going to have a hell of a set of hickies tomorrow—he’d probably say they were from Meagan. Jared bit down on the muscle that ran up just under the Jen’s jaw.

Jensen made a sharp little sound like he was grasping desperately for enough air. “Try—try rolling your hips—mmmmm.” He moaned and writhed underneath Jared when he complied. “Gonna come in my pants, Jared, like a—like a twelve year old boy.” His voice was strained and it did funny things to Jared’s head, made him ache and tingle.

Jensen’s legs clamped tighter around him and he pushed up with his hips, body struggling against Jared’s for release. Jared could feel the muscles in his stomach tightening and locking and then Jensen was coming, cheeks flushed, eyelashes perfect crescents against his cheeks, and mouth parted on a silent scream. Jared watched with wonder, breathing harsh and erection almost painful, but he found himself lost in stillness, watching as Jensen’s orgasm raced over his nerve endings.

The darker-haired teen rolled off onto his side to give Jensen his space. There was a wetspot on the front of his baby blue pajama pants from his own pre-come and Jensen’s come. He watched as Jensen blinked a few times, hunching in on himself for a little and then expanding outwards. Jared felt his heart do the same.

Jensen’s right hand snuck in the front of his pants, fingernails scraping along the sensitive thin skin of his abdomen, down past the coarse hair to wrap around his dick. He stopped breathing for a second as his body acclimated to the sensation of Jensen’s touch.

“You slept with Alexis, right?” Jensen asked, palm brushing over the head of Jared’s dick and robbing him of speech and concentration. Jared merely nodded.

“Did you come?” Jensen whispered, wicked grin back in place. Jared nodded again, eyelids slipping shut and breath coming in harsh pants. “Hard?” Jensen asked. Tongue flicking around the shell of his ear.

Jared bit down on his lip and shook his head. The friction and speed of Jensen’s hand was just right, like he’d decided handjobs were gonna be his own personal form of expression. The dark-haired boy shuddered when Jensen’s callused thumb pressed against the slit and his grip tightened just underneath the head. He was thrusting into Jensen’s hand with abandon. Jensen leaned in and kissed him, tongue flickering in and out of his mouth, fucking it.

Jared was on sensory overload. Jensen was spread across all his senses, inside his head, and teasing him with it. Jensen slowed his grip down, sensing that Jared was about to come.

“Look at me, Jared,” Jensen whispered. “Look at me.”

His eyes snapped open and he held Jensen’s gaze even as his dick started pulsing. Jensen just kept stroking, pushing all the sensation out of him. Jared’s breath escaped like he’d run a five mile race and finally he had to push Jensen’s hand away or risk frying his brain.

They lay like that, quiet, the air filled with all that was between them. Jensen’s clean hand stroked down the side of his face and his eyes closed. His body was heavy and he wanted to sleep, but then the door of the dog house was slamming open and Mary flashed a light inside.

It all happened so fast. She dragged them out, shouting. Christian stood behind her, arms crossed. Jared felt sick and Jensen had a broken look on his face. He remembered then, Jensen had been through this.

Mary talked to him and Jensen separately, first Jensen then Jared. He zoned out as she shouted at him about morality and ethics and his parents and the list went on and on. Her hair curlers bobbed with every word and she waved a martini glass around like a weapon. He and Jensen would be all right. They’d figure something out. They were in this together. Everything was going to be fine.

“You’re out, young man,” Mary said finally, getting through to him. “And you can’t go home to your parents either, quite a situation you’re in, I would say.”

Jared got to his feet when she opened the door and gestured him out. He made his way back to his room and started packing up his stuff. Christian watched him, unable to keep his wicked smile off his face. Wentworth offered to help him fold. Jared didn’t care, he just wanted to know where Jensen was. He didn’t want to ask with Christian grinning at him like that from across the room.

He finished, all the things that mattered in life tucked away in this suitcase or hidden in a room he could never go back to, and Jensen still hadn’t come back to the room. He decided to go wait for him outside. He couldn’t be a part of this awful place anymore. He couldn’t be anywhere near Christian. Jared would’ve broken one of his biggest rules and socked him one good.

He stopped short when he saw Jensen standing outside on the porch.

“Why aren’t you packing?” Jared asked.

Jensen didn’t look at him, turning to present him with his back. “I’m going to stay.”

“What? How can you?” Jared nearly shouted. Jensen didn’t even appear to notice his reaction.

“I just need to be okay with my parents,” Jensen said, his voice an even monotone. Jared couldn’t believe this. He couldn’t believe this.

“Fine, don’t come,” Jared whispered viciously, grabbing up his duffle and stomping off down the steps. He passed Mary on the way down. Her expression was cruelly amused, like she was happy that his life was completely over. Jared felt rage welling up in him, he wanted to scream and shout and throw things, but the only thing that came out was the slight trembling of his hands.

He walked into the unlit yard and down the long driveway to the highway. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to turn around and drag Jensen with him. Tom was standing next to a motorcycle under the streetlamp, short shorts replaced by motorcycle leathers.

“Need a ride?” he offered consolingly.

Jared nodded weakly, not trusting his voice to speak.

Tom gestured at the motorcycle and passed him a helmet. “Hop on.”

Tom talked reassuringly as they sped off into the night. Jared couldn’t make out most of it over the sound of the wind, but his voice penetrated the numbness that was creeping over him. When they pulled up in front or Eric Kripke-Singer and Bob Kripke-Singer’s house he thanked him and swung his duffle bag onto his back.

The porch light gleamed like a sign of hope and the leaden-feeling in his stomach retreated slightly. He was making his way up the path when he turned back to Tom. “Why do you stay?”

Tom shrugged and smiled sadly. “Someday Mike will come around.”

*

He woke up the next morning to the smell of pancakes. Mary had stale continental breakfast every day and Jared had sorely missed hot food in the morning for the last month and half.

He got up and pulled his jeans on, glad that Bob and Eric hadn’t minded putting him up for the night even if he had woken them at an ungodly hour. The food beckoned and he made his way down the stairs, meeting Eric in the kitchen. The man was all dressed, rainbow cap already in place, and he waved with his spatula.

The pancakes looked delicious and without being told he went to go and set the table.

“Nine places,” Eric called after him as he began laying out placemats on the round table. Jared nodded even if Eric couldn’t see him. He caught sight of his face in the back of a spoon and tried not to think about how morose he looked. If only Jensen had come, but he’d chickened out at the one point that really mattered, when all along he’d been calling Jared a coward for not realizing who and what he was. He tried not to think about Jensen starting the final unit, Simulated Sexual Lifestyle with Meagan today. The thought spoiled his appetite just a little.

He sat down and looked out the window over the bright garden. The yard at True Directions had been all fake pink flowers and dirt. A chair was drawn back from the table with a loud scrape and he turned back to the table. He looked over to see Sandy sitting down across from him.

She smiled brightly at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, dipping his head.

She grinned again, expression forgiving. “Don’t be, I’m where I wanna be now.”

Food got dumped down on their plates and more and more people roused themselves to dig in. Bob came in a little bit later with a grumbled comment about the sad state of maple syrup, but then kissed Eric sweetly on the cheek.

The conversation around the table was lively, even if Jared didn’t talk, but halfway through breakfast he realized he already felt better, the events of yesterday just a little further away in his mind. But then everybody got up to go on with their day and his feeling of melancholy returned. He went back upstairs and pulled out his play book. He could probably go back to school now, he hoped that his spot on the football team hadn’t been lost, but he was only a junior. There was next year. He sat alone in his room, staring out the window. Eric knocked a few times to check on him and then spoke to Bob, whose rumbling growl he could barely understand through the door.

He was fine. Just fine. He could do this forever.

Sandy came by after two days, pushing into the room without knocking. She sat down at Jared’s back and rubbed his arm reassuringly. The sun was high in the sky and Jared felt like he could see for miles, like he could stretch for miles, just detach himself from the awful part of the world and its taint.

“What happened?” Sandy asked after long moments of still silence.

He let out a deep sigh. “Mary caught Jensen and I, and we should’ve both been kicked out, it was just after the final test, but—but Jensen decided he would rather stay than go, he let me go.” There were tears running down his cheeks, salty bitter ones that tasted of regret and heartbreak and mistakes.

Sandy wrapped her arms around him, pulled him to lie down on the bed.

When he quieted, she said, “Jensen, huh?”

Jared nodded and gulped, wiping his runny nose with a tissue from the box on the bedside table.

“Not surprising.”

He looked at her as he blew his nose. “It surprised me.”

“I guess you never noticed the way he looked at you,” she said softly. Jared tried to digest this information without resorting to tears again. Hours passed, with them lying side by side on the bed just staring up at the ceiling. He wanted to tell her to go, have fun, do something other than be with his lonely self. But he couldn’t, he didn’t want her to leave.

They hadn’t spoken anything for a long time when she sat up suddenly. The bed shook and Jared looked at her, startled.

“What if we crash graduation? Win Jensen and Kristen back?”

He stared at her in silence. “It’ll never work,” he croaked out, ignoring all the things that warred to stream out of his mouth like ‘are you crazy?’

Sandy slanted a look at him. “What have you got to lose?”

At this point? Nothing. From her expression, Jared could tell that she knew it too. Well hell. Jensen was worth a fight and so was stealing Mary’s thunder. He grinned at Sandy. They began plotting that very night.

*

A few days later Jared watched along with Sandy behind a tree as the procession of graduates made its way down the center aisle. Jared couldn’t believe how many family members and friends had turned up for seven people. The guys and girls had been allowed to dress in normal clothes rather than ridiculous pink and blue crap, and Jared swallowed as Jensen brought up the rear dressed in a ridiculously expensive black suit.

“Hugo Boss,” Sandy said into his ear.

“I thought you were a lesbian,” Jared replied.

She poked her tongue out at him. “I’m still a girl.”

They watched for a moment longer, Jared tried not to freak out. “Now’s your chance,” Sandy said, shoving him towards row of seats. “Go.”

He ran out and tackled Jensen just behind the last row of seats.

“What?” Jensen cried, struggling underneath him. “What are you doing here?”

“Shh!” Jared whispered furiously, and placed his palm over his mouth. “Come with me!”

Jensen elbowed him in the stomach and bit at Jared’s palm until he let go. “What? Jared! No!” Jensen cried, sotto voce. “I can’t!”

“Why not?” Jared replied.

“Maybe one day, when I don’t need them as much as I do, but now—”

Jared choked. “Jensen, you don’t need anybody who doesn’t love you, all of you.”

Jensen looked away. “Get off me. I have to go.”

“Jen,” Jared whispered pleadingly, his heart on his face.

Jensen got that same look on his face that he always did when he was angry, blankness. “I’m sorry.” His voice was like steel, and Jared knew he had to give it up. He rolled to the side. Jensen dusted himself off and then rejoined the line. Jared lay in the grass for a second wondering if he was going to cry. It felt desperately like he was, but the tears weren’t coming. He must’ve been beyond that now.

He got dejectedly to his feet and walked slowly back to the car. Kristen and Sandy were in the back of the van, peppering each other’s faces with kisses and Kristen was in tears, going on and on about how much she missed Sandy.

They looked up when he climbed in. “Where’s Jensen?” Kristen asked, hands still tight on Sandy’s waist.

Jared sighed. “He’s not coming.”

The rest of the people who’d come along looked at him with empathy. He sighed. Sandy glared at him. She pushed him back out of the van with her foot.

“Nuh-uh!” she cried. “You are not giving up!”

“But I—” he fell on the grass outside the car with an oof.

“Jared,” she said, her voice stern. “You aren’t coming back until you’ve got him.”

Jared gulped. “Yes, ma’am.”

She smiled and then turned back to Kristen and started kissing her again. Jared rolled his eyes.

Right.

He could totally do this. A whole boat load of them had come in two separate cars and he wheedled until they let him drive back to the house. He knew Gabriel and Tristan had been on the cheerleading squad back in their high school and he stormed into the house looking for them. They grabbed their old cheerleading uniforms and scrambled into them. They didn’t match and guys didn’t carry pompoms, but hey, as a last resort, he was willing to do pretty much anything. He drove them back to True Directions at breakneck speed with the two guys shrieking their heads off. He pulled his old football jersey over his head: Hawks 06.

He forgot to find a football, but he was in luck. One was left lying on the ground from their tests and he picked it up as he ran towards the stage. While Gabriel and Tristan shouted out behind him “B-E A-G-G R-E-S-S-I-V-E, BE AGGRESSIVE, BE BE AGGRESSIVE!” and clapped. Jared walked down the center aisle, drawing the football back and letting it sail with just the right amount of spin. It hit Jensen in the chest as he was climbing up the stage.

“I love you, you asshole!” Jared yelled, hands cupped around his mouth.

Jensen looked torn. Jared heard somebody’s family member whisper to another one, “That boy doesn’t look gay!” Jared wanted to laugh. He’d learned that now. Being gay wasn’t about how you behaved or looked. If that were the case then he’d be as straight as they came.

He smiled winningly at Jensen, it was all or nothing here. “And you know you always wanted to date the captain of the football team!”

Jensen’s shattered expression resolved itself into a smile. “You’re not the Captain.”

“But I will be!” Jared called back and then Jensen was leaping off the stage, running towards him, despite his parents’ shouts. He jumped into Jared’s arms and Jared laughed and twirled him around in a circle. And then they were kissing, right there in front of everybody while mothers and fathers and sisters and cousins and aunts and uncles shrieked in dismay. Jared just smiled against Jensen’s lips and continued on like he didn’t notice.

They heard the cock of a gun and pulled away from each other. Mary was standing on the podium with rifle in hand and Jared’s eyes bugged out.

“Oh shit!” Jensen shouted, unable to keep the laughter out of his voice. He grabbed Jared’s arm and started running towards the open door of the van. Everybody inside cheered them and shouted for them to hurry and then they were away, inside, safe.

Together.

*

He spied the article when he was in the check-out stand at the grocery story. There it was on the front page of the New York Times in bold ink: “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve: Solution to Homosexuality or just another refusal to see that being gay is okay?” by Wentworth Miller. He should have realized all along that that’s what Wentworth was doing there. That boy was just too smart to take those soap boxers seriously. He bought the paper, despite never going near newsprint in his entire life, and resolved to read it that very evening.

Okay, well maybe he’d get Jensen to read it and tell him what it was about.

*

fini