Killing time till the Flo arrives

[sweetprince]

Last night I wanted to take a sautering iron to my shoulder. I'm not sure how well that would've gone, seeing as I'm not well-practiced in the art of sawing arms off. Let alone my own. Whenever I have body parts that are hurting me, my instict always seems to be to chop them off.

If I was a superhero, I'd probably be called "The giant sparkly sequin of doom" or possibly "Quotes movies incessantly girl." Who would you be?

Comments

[tastyeyeliner.livejournal.com]

(I was so ready to saw my fucking ear off for the past week and a half)

I think I would be....Badass Emotional Monstrosity Mangirl.

I'm gender confused :D!

Dear Giant sparkly sequined superhero persona,

[poninepontmercy.livejournal.com]

=p I know how you feel with the wanting to chop your arms off. Sometimes I think I'd be better off minus my hands. Feel better soon, honey.

<3,
Super FagHag

(I'm serious- I got introduced to some of my friends' significant others this past week- always as "the fag hag." And then the sig. others nodded and said, "aaaah. Now I remember you talking about her.")

Another Fag Hag?

[lekkerstuk.livejournal.com]

I always had fag hag super-powers too, like navigating wine bars and upscale men's clothing boutiques with ease. But then my main gay swore off the f-word, declaring it offensive. I have since been demoted to "fruit fly." So I suppose I would be Captain Fruit Fly?

Honey, as far a your shoulder hurting, my sure-fire solution for any pain is to create a new, more persistent pain to distract myself. It is a very low-brow solution, but it seems to work. Eat too many Twizzlers until you have a belly-ache, slather on coconut oil and get a delicious sunburn, drink until your head hurts, exercise until every other muscle hurts. It all seems very infantile, but it somehow dilutes the pool of pain...and saves you from losing a limb. Or you can try Ben-Gay. I'm not really an expert. :)