Of striped tights and passing time

[sweetprince]

[	mood	|	I don't even know	]
[	music	|	James Blunt-High	]

It's funny how autumn always makes me feel like I'm getting old. I don't mean old like denture cream and walkers and orthopedic shoes, I mean old like I'll never be a kid again. It's funny how you never thing you're going to miss being young. I was walking to the classics library tonight to get some work done and the sky was bright red, rain just pouring down all over the place.

I was listening to Cary Brothers "Ride" and suddenly I could remember pressing my face to the second story bay window at the Ryan Court House, waiting for my dad to come home. I could smell it. See it. I remember talking to myself about marauding warriors and proud queen's, just waiting to see his car driving up. And always, there was the ache of missing my mom. It feels like whenever I was with my dad, all I ever wanted was my mom.

And I didn't hide it, I'm sorry daddy.

I hope I make you guys proud.

Comments

[imseeinrobots.livejournal.com]

oh sweet heart, it sounds amazing, I can understand that feeling a little, though I never really spent too much time with my father I've been missing him terribly recently yet whenever I am with him all I want is my mother, to be just the two of us again. Memories are beautiful things aren't they.

I'm sure they are proud of you my dear, for I see no reason why anyone could ever not be.

*huggs*

[klgrem.livejournal.com]

*hugs* They better be proud of you, Lauren. I know I am. ♥

[dark-reaction.livejournal.com]

Thanks, love. Means a lot to me.

Hi?

[bananafish.livejournal.com]

Fall always has that four-o-clock-on-a-Sunday feel to it, like everything's over again. California doesn't actually seem to understand this, though, so we've been getting alternating days of November and July. At least your depressing weather is predictable, dude (July clothing+Cali decides to be November=I've got a head cold, too).

So, not to over-rationalize stuff or anything, but those two paragraphs were really well-written. Just saying.

In regards to your last post:
A) You are intelligent. If you stuck Johnny Depp in a room with 40 guys who looked like Struckmeyer, he wouldn't look drop-dead gorgeous anymore, but that doesn't mean that Johnny is anything less than beautiful, right? You're at YALE. You're supposed to be surrounded by people who are smarter than you. It doesn't mean you're stupid. Unless you think you're stupid. That would make you stupid. (WOOHOO, paradox. Yeah I'm done.)

B) Uhh...take pride in the fact you're not a stupid idiot party slut? Or something? Kick your roommate in the face, I don't know.

That was kind of a pointless list.
Updates from GUNN high school:
Homecoming theme is apparently worse than usual this year, but I wasn't at the assembly, so ask someone else about that. I do know that half my grade, pissed off that our theme today was "Alcatraz" (wtf?), decided to dress up as Oakland gang members, complete with aluminum-foil grills (remember Sasha Drosdrova?). I'm not kidding.

Scott thinks Mr. Dunlap is kind of a cream puff (my wording, not his).

I've been convincing anyone I can get to listen to me for more than thirty seconds that Mr. Hernandez has started a bona fide cult. IT'S SO TRUE.

Speaking of, Mr. Hernandez is even more insane than he was before. "Wait for it...wait for it...AFRICA! The "A" on Hester's chest stands for AFRICA!" (I am not making this up.)

That's about it. Struckmeyer hasn't contacted me at all, so you can gloat/share my misery/laugh in my face.

And if it makes you feel any better, I think I'm having an identity crisis. (i.e. running four miles a week, doing math/physics homework during English, listening to Panic at the Disco, doing tech again, etc. help?)

Good to hear you haven't had a mental breakdown or anything. Or died, or whatever. Um, feel better about stuff? And your parents should totally be proud of you, and normally I'd just tell you they were, but I've gathered that your parents are a little interesting about that sort of thing. So they should be. I'll leave it at that.