We older siblings know that part of being older is taking care of the younger sibling. We don’t expect anything in return for it. Younger siblings are never going to be able to pay us back. They will never be in a situation where the roles are sufficiently reversed to make such a thing equitable. Older siblings should not expect payment....Little siblings aren’t aware of the sacrifices we make for them, in fact, they see their lives as being more difficult than ours. This doesn’t make them selfish, perhaps a little delusional, because I’ve never figured out where younger siblings get these ideas, but it does seem to be universal of younger siblings.
This is where my experience sort of...I wouldn't say that it defeats your argument about older vs. younger siblings, because it really doesn't. Everyone's experience with their siblings is going to be different. But as an older sibling, I agree that us older brothers and sisters are traditionally meant to take care of younger siblings. But (and this is sort of weird, I guess) that's really almost never been my experience.
Yes, I used to stick up for my sister when my neighbors picked on her. But then she did the exact same thing for me. In my family, I'm pretty much the. Well, I'm not a failure, per se, but if you were to cast my sister and me in Dean and Sam's relationship (strictly canon; no incest, plz), there would be a complete role reversal. I'd probably be Sam; she'd probably be Dean. Ignoring the fact that she's been one of my best friends for my entire life so far, she's usually the one taking care of me.
Older siblings are the ones that all the hopes are pinned on, the ones expected to follow in their parents' footsteps, to carry on the family name. The younger sibling may feel pressure, immense pressure, following a successful older sibling as Sam certainly did in the wake of Dean who listened to everything his father said (or so we think), but at the same time, a pressure is lifted. A successful older sibling allows younger siblings to strike out on their own, to make their own path.
This is really where my experience is different. I don't think I necessarily agree with what you say, because you sort of state it as a fact, but I think it can be absolutely true--especially in Sam and Dean's relationship. My sister is the straight-A student with all the boyfriends (which isn't uncommon; I know you aren't saying that such a role is reserved for the older sibling at all). I'm the kid who didn't get the best grades and who forgets people's birthdays and spent years in therapy and blahblahblah. My sister's the successful one, and I'm not. People always ask me if I'm insanely jealous of her, or if I hate her, but I honestly don't. And I couldn't hate her for something like that. Because I don't really think of her "successes" as being relative to my own (or lack thereof).
I'm not saying my experience is totally unique and that it's never happened between any other pair of siblings ever before. We know that there are a lot of younger siblings who end up setting the bar, being the successful sons and daughters while the older siblings always think of themselves as trailing along somewhere behind them.
One thing I think you maybe should have addressed (and you might have; I'd have to read up again) is the sentiment, often felt by older siblings, that the younger sibling is the favorite. You addressed John's favoritism of Sam, but you didn't talk about Dean's view of said favoritism. I mean, most of the older siblings I know complain about their younger siblings being the favorite, being more adored and more loved by their parents. I just think it would be an interesting thing to think about, but it would probably take up an entire meta post of its own.
Okay, so I suck at meta. I really suck at getting my point across efficiently (which is why I'm totally changing my English major to something else, yeah). Um, let me know what things I need to clarify, yo.
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Date: 2007-05-13 10:53 pm (UTC)This is where my experience sort of...I wouldn't say that it defeats your argument about older vs. younger siblings, because it really doesn't. Everyone's experience with their siblings is going to be different. But as an older sibling, I agree that us older brothers and sisters are traditionally meant to take care of younger siblings. But (and this is sort of weird, I guess) that's really almost never been my experience.
Yes, I used to stick up for my sister when my neighbors picked on her. But then she did the exact same thing for me. In my family, I'm pretty much the. Well, I'm not a failure, per se, but if you were to cast my sister and me in Dean and Sam's relationship (strictly canon; no incest, plz), there would be a complete role reversal. I'd probably be Sam; she'd probably be Dean. Ignoring the fact that she's been one of my best friends for my entire life so far, she's usually the one taking care of me.
Older siblings are the ones that all the hopes are pinned on, the ones expected to follow in their parents' footsteps, to carry on the family name. The younger sibling may feel pressure, immense pressure, following a successful older sibling as Sam certainly did in the wake of Dean who listened to everything his father said (or so we think), but at the same time, a pressure is lifted. A successful older sibling allows younger siblings to strike out on their own, to make their own path.
This is really where my experience is different. I don't think I necessarily agree with what you say, because you sort of state it as a fact, but I think it can be absolutely true--especially in Sam and Dean's relationship. My sister is the straight-A student with all the boyfriends (which isn't uncommon; I know you aren't saying that such a role is reserved for the older sibling at all). I'm the kid who didn't get the best grades and who forgets people's birthdays and spent years in therapy and blahblahblah. My sister's the successful one, and I'm not. People always ask me if I'm insanely jealous of her, or if I hate her, but I honestly don't. And I couldn't hate her for something like that. Because I don't really think of her "successes" as being relative to my own (or lack thereof).
I'm not saying my experience is totally unique and that it's never happened between any other pair of siblings ever before. We know that there are a lot of younger siblings who end up setting the bar, being the successful sons and daughters while the older siblings always think of themselves as trailing along somewhere behind them.
One thing I think you maybe should have addressed (and you might have; I'd have to read up again) is the sentiment, often felt by older siblings, that the younger sibling is the favorite. You addressed John's favoritism of Sam, but you didn't talk about Dean's view of said favoritism. I mean, most of the older siblings I know complain about their younger siblings being the favorite, being more adored and more loved by their parents. I just think it would be an interesting thing to think about, but it would probably take up an entire meta post of its own.
Okay, so I suck at meta. I really suck at getting my point across efficiently (which is why I'm totally changing my English major to something else, yeah). Um, let me know what things I need to clarify, yo.
*falls over*