Ray sets him up with a match.com account for April Fools. According to his profile, his name is Brigita, he lives in Malibu, he enjoys margaritas *with* sALt, NCAA basketball players, and the AwEsOmE 80s band The Outfield. The picture is of an undeniably hot woman lounging in a white sundress in a hammock. Brad figures when he opens his e-mail on April 1st at 9:15 AM and finds 62 responses, Ray found it in a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.
That is until he gets a very angry e-mail from n.fick@dartmouth.edu titled “WTF?” Brad picks up the phone and punches in Ray’s number. It rings a few times and then Ray picks up with a jubilant, “Hey!” clearly assured that he got Brad better than Brad got him.
“Where did you get that picture, Ray?”
“The internet, dude! That chick is hot! I wanna spread her over waffles.”
“Ray,” Brad says, keeping his temper in check, “did you steal if off somebody’s facebook?”
Ray coughs and doesn’t reply. Brad growls. “I just got an e-mail addressed ‘Dear Unstable and Delusional Person’ by an N. Fick complaining about how I used his sister’s picture to misrepresent myself as ‘a horny morally bankrupt barfly’s wet dream.’”
Ray cracks up. “Yeah, yeah, morally bankrupt, my ass. He’s obviously on the site.”
“According to the e-mail he was ‘shocked’ to discover his roommate e-mailing his sister on a dating site ‘obviously intended for sexual incompetents who can’t comprehend how easy it is to fabricate an entirely specious life history on the internet.’”
“Okay, so, maybe he’s not on the site.”
“Ray, I just had to explain to a little ivy league bitch that I’m actually a 25-year-old male getting my doctorate at Caltech who was pranked by his own former college roommate.”
“If you wanted him to believe you, I might’ve left that Caltech bit out.”
“You are such a toolbox,” Brad replies. “But that’s okay, I just deleted your facebook account. Good luck re-friending those 1,213 contacts.”
“What?” He hears Ray clatter around on the other end of the line, probably running to his laptop. “NO! BRAD! WHY? NOT MY FACEBOOK!”
Brad laughs long and hard. He hangs up still chuckling. A e-mail pops up in his inbox.
Oh, I hope you will forgive me for my somewhat enraged electronic rant. Mea culpa. I noticed that you took the profile down. Thank you. I will inform my sister to place tighter control over her facebook pictures.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
This is closest to number 3, perhaps I will continue it.
Date: 2009-11-11 01:39 am (UTC)That is until he gets a very angry e-mail from n.fick@dartmouth.edu titled “WTF?” Brad picks up the phone and punches in Ray’s number. It rings a few times and then Ray picks up with a jubilant, “Hey!” clearly assured that he got Brad better than Brad got him.
“Where did you get that picture, Ray?”
“The internet, dude! That chick is hot! I wanna spread her over waffles.”
“Ray,” Brad says, keeping his temper in check, “did you steal if off somebody’s facebook?”
Ray coughs and doesn’t reply. Brad growls. “I just got an e-mail addressed ‘Dear Unstable and Delusional Person’ by an N. Fick complaining about how I used his sister’s picture to misrepresent myself as ‘a horny morally bankrupt barfly’s wet dream.’”
Ray cracks up. “Yeah, yeah, morally bankrupt, my ass. He’s obviously on the site.”
“According to the e-mail he was ‘shocked’ to discover his roommate e-mailing his sister on a dating site ‘obviously intended for sexual incompetents who can’t comprehend how easy it is to fabricate an entirely specious life history on the internet.’”
“Okay, so, maybe he’s not on the site.”
“Ray, I just had to explain to a little ivy league bitch that I’m actually a 25-year-old male getting my doctorate at Caltech who was pranked by his own former college roommate.”
“If you wanted him to believe you, I might’ve left that Caltech bit out.”
“You are such a toolbox,” Brad replies. “But that’s okay, I just deleted your facebook account. Good luck re-friending those 1,213 contacts.”
“What?” He hears Ray clatter around on the other end of the line, probably running to his laptop. “NO! BRAD! WHY? NOT MY FACEBOOK!”
Brad laughs long and hard. He hangs up still chuckling. A e-mail pops up in his inbox.
Oh,
I hope you will forgive me for my somewhat enraged electronic rant. Mea culpa. I noticed that you took the profile down. Thank you. I will inform my sister to place tighter control over her facebook pictures.
I appreciate it,
Nate
PS. Caltech? Awesome! What are you studying?